The Secret to Self-Confidence

Have you ever commented on a blog? Perhaps on this one?
What about a discussion forum?
*Zephyrance – Don’t wake me. Flickr
There is a small amount of self-doubt at first that can cause people to be cautious. This fear can cause you to be afraid to speak up in meetings, even if you disagree with someone or have a great idea.
I was there.
Before I started blogging about project managing in 2006, there was a phase when I read a lot of blogs but never commented. I was afraid that people would find my question stupid if I asked them a question.
Gradually, I started leaving comments and then I started to comment a lot. It was almost two years after I began reading (without commenting), that I started my own blog.
It was a gradual increase in self-confidence
This experience is common in all walks of life. Some people go through it quickly while others take their time.
You may have heard of the idea of expanding your influence little by little. What I mean is to expand your confidence by taking small steps beyond your comfort zone. Start by putting your toe in the water. Once you find that it wasn’t too bad, make a habit of it. Then, explore more.
It seems completely different now that I mentor and train people than it did in 2004, when I “discovered” formal Project Management for the first time.
You will make a mistake
Accept it. You can fail if you make a conscious decision to move outside of your comfort zone. It will happen at least some of time, if it is not all or even most of time.
Perfection is the enemy to progress. If you wait until you feel comfortable doing something new, you won’t be able to do it.
You have to be strong. You must learn to say “oh, well, at least I tried.” Tomorrow, I will try again.” The only thing that can fail is giving up.
Are you looking to improve? Are you looking to become a better project manager or become one? To make it happen, you need a system. No big leaps ….small stepping stones. Every day.
Your Comfort List
You can make a list of the areas of knowledge and activities you are most comfortable with on a piece of paper. This is your comfort zone. It’s a comfort food with fewer calories.
Your Work in Progress Liste
Make a list of the knowledge and skills that you are weak in. This is your “work in progress” and can be used to help you make sure you are improving yourself. These items should be prioritized based on the impact they will have on your life.
These can be broken down depending on how complex they are into specific actions that you can take to reach them. You should aim to make progress at a reasonable and sustainable pace. It’s 15 minutes per day for me on self improvement. Yes, I do miss days sometimes. I’m human, and that’s what this post is all about. We are all human and imperfect.
Your Future Goals List
This list is for SPECIFIC goals. Once you have made this list, choose one item and move it to your “work-in-progress” list. You can place these three lists side-by-side, with comfort on the left and work in progress on the middle. Future is on the right. But not in one day. Gradually, over time. Revise your list monthly. You now have accountability for yourself.
What skills and experience are necessary to become a project manager? These should all be on your list. A road map to mastery and progress towards your goals.
No matter what your goals may be, you should pursue them. But don’t think about them.
Do something every day to help them.